What've I done?

Regret, in my life, is a feeling with rarer occurrences than orgasm.
But today, on my train home, I was engulfed by it.
No. Not the latter. It was crowded.

Well, after sleeping of boredom for quite some time and later getting bored of sleeping for even more time, I started considering the events of the previous few days. And then in a fleeting fraction, I realized something that shook my lethargy like shampoo foam off a terrier’s backside.

I was wrong.
I should not have written what I wrote.
It was impulsive. Over reacted. And biased.
And I regret it with all my heart. Honestly.
Oh god, what’ve I done?

The guys who thought the same way as I did, would find my self-acquittal a big letdown. I know. But what’s true is true folks. Our arguing won’t change it. We were wrong.

Maybe I was sleep-walking and over excited.
Maybe as the fired-up ‘non-MBA’ youngster said, I was being arrogant, lousy, not weighing the facts and was ‘filtering’ data to fit my not-so-hidden agenda.
Maybe as the fired-up MBA youngster said, I was writing s*** and trying to defend some f***ing a**holes, and that he didn’t f***ing care about the s*** I wrote.
Maybe as the Mr. Politically-Correct-Niceguy put it, I didn’t look at the greater good, and that we poor Indians get treated like crap everywhere, and that it could be me or you. Who knew?
Maybe as Mr. Diplomatic said, I didn’t look at ‘both’ sides of the dime.

They were all right.
And I was wrong.

Little did I know such a subject had the power to make foes out of people at two ends of the world.
Little did I know it was of such significance at a livelihood level.
Little did I know I knew bloody little about it.

And I am sad. I should have thought twice, thrice before spewing out such garbage. But what’s done is done. I’ve surely hurt a few people by it. It was inadvertent, and I am sorry.



For the uninitiated, the issue I'm talkin about is my International Business exam paper.
It had one question, “Is India’s ongoing pact with the ASEAN countries good for us?”
I thought, yes of course. More bilateral relations. More trade. More money. And I wrote two paragraphs about how beneficial it was. Just like many other blind nuts who were arrogant enough to 'filter' whatever they required to fit their 'agenda'.

But no fellow men, India is in trouble.
Countries like Malaysia, Indonesia etc have a covert plan to replace India as the textile destination and put Laos in its place. It’s like dethroning the ‘undisputed king’ and putting a minnow midget on his throne.
It would affect millions of jobs and a cluster-industry as such and of course is a matter of ‘national pride’.
So, the answer is both Yes and No. I should have known.
So now what? Marks gone. 'Negative impression' registered. 'Lousy' writing revealed.

But then, what do I know about debating? Nothing.
What do I normally write? Intellectual s***.
Do I ever look at ‘both’ sides? Never, unless it’s a woman.
So, maybe this is all I can come up with.
Damn Me.

I should’ve written that choice question about ‘Swine flu and Globalization’. That at least has only one side to it. And no agendas either.

What’ve I done. (chuckle!)


Overheard:
Nikola Tesla: I sense an obsession. No good will come of it.
Robert Angier: Hasn't good come of your obsessions?
Tesla: At first yes, but now i'm their slave. And they will choose to destroy me.
Angier: If you understand an obsession, then you know you wont change my mind.